Friday, March 30, 2007

Apologies for drunk post last night, I'm over everything else

But I'm so sick of taking care of drunk people it's not even funny.

Worst. Night. Ever.

So it started out allright. I was 50-50 on going out tonight but got some stuff done so I decided to go out for a few hours (meaning from 11-2). Pretty typical early night in New Orleans (yes, that's early, our bars don't close at early times). So anyway, me and my 2 buddies are drinking 2 dollar imports/microbrews when who calls up but my hook up buddy (score! right?). Not so fast. She brings this clan of her sorority sisters with a bunch of sketch frat guys, including her abusive ex-boyfriend. Long story short, ex-boyfriend gets physical, I step in, ex-boyfriend steps off and calls hook up buddy non-stop from there on out.

That's okay, I can deal with that as long as sketch boy isn't around. So it's 50-50 again on going to another bar or just drinking on our own. Turns out one of hook-up buddies best friends has now gotten into a fight with one of my best friends (they're dating). She's hysterical, so hook-up buddy goes back to pick her up. I'm stuck in the middle. Eventually hook-up buddy's friend and my buddy patch things up, we get to another bar (1.5 hours later than we're supposed to be there). We get there, everyone wants to leave. Buy a quick drink, leave, go to another bar.

We get outside and some drunk ass girl is collapsed on the ground. No one is paying attention to her. I, being the good summaritan that I am, picks her up and tries to wake her up. She wakes up, some other guy comes to the rescue (that knows her), we decide to walk her home. Her place is a mile from this bar and we're carrying her over our shoulders.

So we get about 1/2 way there, she says she's fine, wants to go back to the bar we're at. Her friend carrying her says no, but also wants to go back to the bar. They decide that they should just go back. I'VE WASTED 45 MINUTES CARRYING THIS GIRL HOME. So outraged, I run back to the bar only to find hook-up buddy talking to another guy. It's now 4:30, I'm so fed up with people at this point I storm off and go home. People suck!!!!

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Advice I just read--your air travel tip of the day

The odds of someone bringing a bomb on your plane are small, but the odds of TWO people bringing bombs are infinitesimal. So you should always bring a bomb.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Dear all "matured" females-

If you do not want guys looking at your tiggle bitties, then do not wear low shirts. Any failure to comply with this will be seen as an opportunity, nay, an invitation for guys to look down your shirt. Any looks received while wearing said low shirt are therefore completely deserved and should actually be taken as somewhat of a compliment, seeing as though you brought it on yourself. That is all.

Hugs and Kisses,

PS- We also reserve the right to take peeks at your boobs even when you're not wearing low shirts, as long as we don't get caught. And even if we do get caught, do your worst to me.

Hey, I'm lazy and very standoffish what can I say.

Everyone's blog stinks but mine

How awkward.

One of my good friend's little sisters just added me as a friend, she's a Junior in high school. An excerpt:
Haha! I enjoy tanning, shopping, and boys. I love staying up until 3 in the morning talking about sex, giving sex advice, and sleeping in one bed with my dance girls! Yeah! haha! I also enjoy going to Steak and Shake with my gangsta and scaring the people there...haha!

So its official...

she's leaving for Shanghai for 9 months.

This will be a good test.

Monday, March 26, 2007

apparently hosted a rather large booger at today's lunch

shoulda done the standard mirror check beforehand...

I've figured out why the busses never run on time in Chicago.

It takes about 6 or 7 minutes to load a wheelchair onto a crowded bus. On my way home from lunch, we picked up a lady in a wheelchair, and the driver had to get about 8 people to move, raise the seats, re-configure the fare machine, kneel the bus, lower the stairs, get the wheelchair person locked into place, then raise the stairs, unkneel the bus, re-configure the fare machine again, and wait for everyone to get resituated.

All it takes is two or three of those to throw the whole route off schedule by about a half hour.

I propose some sort of forklift device where the wheel chair gets scooped up and just sort of hangs there until their stop. Much more efficient.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

bad luck part2

i told you about that situation with that one girl a few weeks ago. i got over that ok. another girl at work was asking me if i was single and i told her i was. She told me she could hook me up with one of her "nice" friends. I said ok. we talked about this and she was going to do this real soon. i guess she was going to bring one of her friends to work to meet me.

well, i was sick over the weekend and i came back to work on Monday to only find out that she was fired the day before. i do not have her number nor does she have mine. I went to work Monday and a guy told me that last Friday she brought in one of her friends to meet me. This guy told me she was a hott Blonde. trust me, i wanted to kick my own ass for getting sick and not being there. maybe things could have worked out, but NOOOOO i had to be sick.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

the vacant BK on Green Street is no longer

i beat some guys arse infront of that place, his gf freaked. shouldn't have talked sh*t to me while I'm pissing in the bushes. trying to be cool and you think i wouldn't hear you. i heard you buddy and it was funny seeing your cell phone fly across the street and your gf's face when i smacked that smirk off your face.

maybe now, he won't talk crap to random strangers... that were very drunk. burb biatch.

i got applause... haven't you ever wanted to punch that collar popping express wearing burb boy? all huggin on his token asian gf.

what a solid punch will do to one's self esteem. GUARANTEE he thinks twice before pokin fun at people he doesn't know in public.

i did him a favor. if he were to do that in chi, much worse.

it wasn't a sucker punch...I asked him to apologize first. He got in my face and said "you don't want this man". He went from HeMan to "I'm calling the cops" in a heartbeat after one punch.

I don't pick fights with strangers, but I have a very low tolerance for mofos who think they can do whatever and get away with it. I love bringin those people back down to earth.

So my dog accidentally fired out another butt nugget this morning

Just casually walking down the sidewalk on the way to the park when suddenly *POP* out comes this little turd knuckle. No squatting, it just came out in mid-stride, totally unprovoked. He just looked over his shoulder with an "eh, what can you do?" expression and kept walking. He crapped the rest out a couple of minutes later.

The errant crapper:


I got an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie from Potbelly and it was everything I had dreamt it to be.

Fortunately, I was on my way to the gym so I don't feel the least bit guilty about it either.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I am SOOOO craving a chocolate chip cookie!

wtf is wrong with me? I never crave cookies!

Maybe I'll stop somewhere on the way home. It's so strange too. It's not something general like "I want something sweet" or "I want chocolate". It's very specific - I want a big, soft chocolate chip cookie.

I think it's just that I've been eating less carbs than usual lately. I tend to crave sweets if my body is low on carbs (as it will when I get closer to the half marathon).

here's something interesting.

today's socks are not quite mid calf and the rate of slippage is identical for both legs.

on a sidenote

neighbor lady asked me and another guy to help move her son's mattress and box frame out to a truck she rented to transport his stuff to him.

as we lifted the mattress up (while she was watching), we exposed approx 4 nudie mags and 3 pron videos. then after we lifted the box spring, we discovered more videos, two lotion containers and a box of kleenex.

woman hasn't asked me to move anythign since

Monday, March 19, 2007

do they make white permanent markers?

i'm trying to figure out how to start marking my socks "L" and "R".

riddle me this: the dress sock on my right leg stays up, but

the one on the left leg always falls down.

what the heck?

why is this happening?

(yes, i know it's not really a riddle)

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Get bent!

I probably did it like five months ago or something.

UPDATE: Just called her..

said I was being a little puzzy and that was just thinking about myself. Told her not to worry about me and that appreciate any and all time she takes to email/call me. Said a lot more... but it was very unlike me.

I could tell in her voice that she was happy.

"thank you baby.. means a lot"

thanks guys.

ok, i'm really pissed at my gf...

I'm in bed ... broken...

she lives cross town. She still hasn't come to see me. Granted she doesnt' have a car. Its been two days. The reason I'm hurt is cause I went over to comfort her about some family problems. I stayed over on her tiny bed. I slept really twisted and it effed up my back. Now I'm layed out.

I hurt myself to comfort her. Now she is too busy (she is doing a ton of PhD shite) to come over. I don't need hours of her time.. just some dinner and a kiss.

Am I over reacting?

BTW... this is her latest email (its sweet, but actions speak louder than words in my book):


I'm sorry. I miss you and I can't help but feel guilty =( I miss you a lot. I want you to know that. Always thinking about you.....


Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Going to fast for 2 weeks

only water. Not to lose weight...but after all the negativity in my life...need something to just "flush" it out.

Friday, March 9, 2007

dear hctib that invited me to the movies,

do NOT EVER make me look like a dumbssa EVER again. EVER!

do NOT EVER invite me to be the third wheel EVER again.

do NOT EVER ignore me like you did tonight.

finally, do NOT EVER call me for a ride EVER again. I will not be answering your phone calls/text messages/IMs.

i sure hope that guy has that bubbly personality, because even i have him beat on looks, and i am not all that 'hot' myself, so i really do not know what he has.

ps: 300 was good, as long as i kept my eyes on the screen and not the shennigans that was going on right next to me.

pss: i was not one of the guys with 'smuggled' beer that ended up dropping t and spilling it.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

man, i got lucky today going to the doctors.....

I had the doctors assistant check me out today for my appointment. This chick is so hot and she was wearing a skin-tight outfit.

If that wasn't enough, she had a trainee in there also who was about 23 years old and extremely hot as well.

damn, did i hit the lottery or what today? I really enjoyed the doctor poking me and seeing if i was in pain. for about 20 minutes today i felt great.

Now, i am back to reality.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

She bought a $50 bra just so she could have a professional fitting.

she doesn't eat meat
She ran five miles yesterday
She has trouble waking up in the morning
she's short
she likes volleyball
She's always cold
She's usually late to things
she cried when jerry died
She had a crush on a pitcher for the white sox
She has cool drinking gloves
She packs light and rarely takes more than a backpack
She once got in a fight with a tiny bearded Wisco fan and then proceeded to dance with him
she most likely smells

Sunday, March 4, 2007

At Steinmart today, they had orange courderoy pants

If they had my size I would have bough them ($20). They had a pair that was one size bigger (in the waist) than i wear, I might buy them if they go to another 50% off

Friday, March 2, 2007


look...I might be a 23 year old female. Big woop. I might say "lol" a lot. Gonna cry about it? I have a personality and I like to show it on here so you give me shit for that? I am majoring in math not english so my grammar and english is crap. I have tough skin...I just don't think it's warranted for you people to dish crap to me when it is less than deserved. I take what you say personally why? because I don't know if you're sarcastic or not! How to rectify? Hmmm, maybe what I do...put an "lol" or a wink in there to signify sarcasm. That don't have to be like a stupid child and make yourself feel better by bringing someone else down. That's just stupid if you can call yourself an adult while spending an entire thread to make fun of someone. That right there is ignorance and imaturity. So instead of "lurking" like a freak I just jump in and try and be myself and I get persecuted. Isn't that nice?

so last night it's just me and the boys at home; mrs was out

with her buddies.

after supper, the boys and i determined to have a game of Yahtzee!. now - i don't really care for Yahtzee!, but both of our boys like to play. it is a new game, we have only played it once. (our oldest and i have played it on his gameboy, but that's it). i, of course, won the previous game of yahtzee!.

so we cleared the table and away we go. things started out fairly fast for our oldest, though it became clear halfway through the contest that unless our middle one went on a Yahtzee! role, this was going to be a two horse race b/w me and our oldest.

our oldest failed to roll a Yahtzee! on his final role, and so entered the dreaded zero. his final tally - 266.

before my final turn, we tallied the other score sheets. the youngest barely broke 200.

with one final role - and having only the three of a kind slot open, my score was 242. i needed 24 to tie; and 25 to win.

both of our boys were now out of their chairs, standing around the table. holding brady in my lap with my left hand, i shook the cup and rolled.

the role: 6 4 3 3 1

i kept the 6.

role 2: 6 6 6 5 and another number that i grabbed when i saw i had 23.

now we're all yelling and gesticulating wildly. i pronounce "i need a 1 to tie, and anything else and i win!" of course i'm being my usual humble self.

our boys are now covering their eyes; they cannot stand the tension. (by this point the middle child was clearly rooting against me.)

i take the cup, shake, and roll a....


all three of us let loose with a holler and poor brady's eyes about flew out of his head.

i was all

and the other boys were

then i made them take a shower and go to bed.