Tuesday, June 22, 2010


Saw a counselor this AM. Got engaged this PM. Feet haven't touched the ground.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

interesting topic

*indicates that this finishes with a large group intercourse session**
Makes claim on ownership of entire message board*
grabs flag, pisses on it*
Baits poster into returning, thus proving they did not actually collapse the thread *
*makes reference to former poster in order to convey tardiness and an unwillingness to explain**
asks whatever happened to that former poster.*
*pours one out for former poster* *
slams former poster as one who brought nothing anyway. *
relaunches attack.*
insults intelligence, reading ability, politics AND religion. *
reinquires whether you're going to address the statistical data presented earlier.
insists poster's repeated attacks are just more evidence of the rightness of my position. *
hand-waves allegation. reinsists poster address the data.
informs poster of friend with unpublished research, laughs at posters uninformed, biased sources. *
references same data presented in article of leading newspaper/news magazine with an editorial staff
further informs poster that it's a good thing for him I have to leave for a conference.
lay down noted*
claims to have forgotten more about the topic than poster ever knew*
suggests poster lets the big boys play, if we can find a second big boy. *
suggests a meeting at the place of posters choosing to engage in fisticuffs*
suggests baggie fo yo teef. *
*posts vague disagreement without further explanation**
references facebook*
whines about people posting stuff to facebook and not the ish *
something something about roughy and facebook *
thanks terp yet again *
attempts to realign everybody's chi through whimsical references to women
types lol. adds note that he is actually laughing out loud*
reveals that every post he made in this thread was simply bait
decries obviousness of your baiting. purports to have engaged merely to demonstrate, via your
acts as if said obviousness was all a part of the ruse*
continues to engage, so that other members of the community will observe your behavior and join my
asserts that neither you nor your alliance matter to me
claims that Sammich and Kapsov are the best at this meme*
Wonders which meme sammich is not the best at?*
mocks ishers who think sammich is a comic genius*
nominates timmer as unappreciated comic genius, implying lack of comic sophistication in all others*
heads off mockery with self-deprecating post
relaunches attack ignored by poster in his own other thread.*
calls poster stupid while mispeling words an comiting typografical errrs*
tells interfering poster (who started the thread) that the "grown-ups" are arguing.
refers poster to earlier portions of thread, declares victory.
inquires as to the status of your response to data supplied within article linked ealier.*
responds with attack on intelligence. *
reading is fundamental*
Telling. *
Nice laydown.*
time out
remarks that if this sort of silliness is what passes for entertainment, perhaps participating
Continues arguing just to make the thread go off the right side. *
complains how this messes up viewing on iphone*
cites homosexual tendencies of men who purchase products produces by the Apple Corporation.*
summons fanboys*
but they are busy manscaping*
makes note that member of certain brigade and/or team has decided to grace us with her presence.*
Reminds everyone to DO NEVER ENGAGE the poster *
doesn't think poster actually believes what she says. *
calls poster a liar despite his 30 year background in the subject*
jumps into fray to agree with previous poster, attempting to feel like one of the gang.*
questions legitimacy of poster's argument based on his religion.*
accuses poster of blindly following dictates of their own religion, while also calling
Tells all posters that their religion is a fantasy *
attempts to explain how science is limited and is incapable of answering certain questions.
Demands proof of a higher power *
engages in dissertation of how the concept of 'faith' does not require proof.*
Does not back down from science *
accuses poster of being an intellectual elitist, who claims to be open minded, but clearly is not
Gets bored with discussion, demands proof before further conversation can happen, exits thread. *
Accuses poster of being small minded, enjoys thrill of conversation going off the right side *
suggests posters take amicable approach of agreeing to disagree.
refuses to agree to that*
tries to diffuse tense situation by making witty comment that is totally misunderstood, and actually
Threatens to give up position if certain posters agree with it *
claims this as a sharp instrument that denotes the unsoundness of your argument*
damn i'm bad at this*
LOL. I think we've pretty well beat it to death at this point. *
true, but this is probably my favorite post:
posts picture of flying spaghetti monster*
bemoans fact that it's been years since I touched anyone with my noodly appendage*
Plays brass instrument in a mournful manner *
Simulates pistols using fingers. *
tries to fit in and appear witty by posting my dinner menu*
SIlently judges you based on your meal choice. *
makes reference to some random off-the-beaten-path restaurant as the best food of this type*
Bemoans poor placement of post. *
laughes uncomfortably*
Tells all posters that they would like some spaghetti by posting WANT *
makes AD joke that flies right over old fool's head*
laughs out loud and makes non sequitur point, possibly due to dementia*
demands poster clean out their ez box*
confirms that box is clean via double entendre*
wonders why you are on the internet, if that's the case! *
cites entertainment value gained by stirring the pot*
can't take joke, threatens to hurt poster if they ever met*
laughs out loud at accuracy of post contained in link*
re-request of recap*
cites semi-coherent nihilistic phrase indicating a denouement that involved
laughs out loud*
laughs until his ass *literally* falls off!*
cites use of "literal" as leading to an unintended, but amusing, interpretation.*
makes joke about old age*
wonders when the Brotherhood of Bearded Single-Mom Booty Shoplifters.....
feels awful, extends olive branch*
challenges use of word literally*
thanks terp*
requests TINA of particular part of thread*
asks what "TINA" refers to. requests link*
Gives thread a big ol' meh
Kapsov = $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$*
posts something about him being "my oscar winner" *
sends chief illiniwek to accept award.*
..to be presented by Nancy Cantor*
sees roughy post in thread, makes football sidejack*
acts all-knowing*
...with inside information actually taken from other site*
claims that he's never done this; attempts to suppress blood pressure*
previously quiet posters know truth, gang up on phony*
sweeps the leg*
makes reference to LeShoure prediction, flailing wildly trying to restore cred*
makes fun of roughy's february offensive line breakdown*
10-2! *
asks roughy about shruberies.*
bumps thread even though discussion is obviously over.*
grabs chance to repeat insults. *
paints followers of a particular political ideology with a broad brush*
indignation. paints opposition with similarly broad brush. *
forms alliance*
posts list of people excluded from alliance*
posts *runs away sobbing* *
makes additional reference to unlikely sexual encounter.*
sees no ACSII characters and wonders if post is serious*
calms posters down. posts lols*
also trys to form alliance*
makes awkward reference to unlikely sexual encounter. uses ASCII characters to simulate facial
posts how awesome thread is*
interprets post as supporting my point of view. makes crack in reference to adversary.*
flips out due to thin skin; hurls disproportionate counter-insults*
savors victory. moves on.*
questions why can't everybody just get along*
elaborates through links, screencaps and anecdotes on how other poster was impetus of dispute.
makes remark about chump edit*
welcome to the thread Holly *
questions what ever happened to poster known as Holly*
claims knowledge of the real story. elaborates.*
Explains the incident*
confused by story. asks for clarification*
posts AJNTSA pic*
questions what acronym stands for*
Mocks poster's spelling mistake.*
disputes explanation*
posts mspaint pic explaining topic*
Notes that your face is similar to the interesting topic *
goes off topic to inform that poster appeared in a recent dream. recaps dream*
makes terpian joke about nocturnal emissions*
She's not gonna go out with you. *
asks, "Is she...?"*
accuses poster of doing it wrong*
Can't let it go, chump edits, ruining the response, runs and hides*
feels the need to post the reason his original now looks out of place*
Has no retort, acts as if thread never happened*
Tells semi-related story from youth, finishes with non sequitur.*
wonders whether or not poster is an alter-ego*
claims to have met poster*
asks whether you met poster at a klan rally*
finds it convenient that poster is also suspected of creating said alter-ego*
requests a recap*
you missed a lot *
marks post as helpful*
discloses caveat of not having or wanting to read through whole thread.
points out that everyone is stupid with their money, eats poorly, and exercises incorrectly.*
notes preference for political and economic system developed when we were a nation of farmers
half-joking accusation of racism*
posts racial slur, quickly edits, claims it didn't happen*
flies off handle, launches homoist-phobic attack*
indignation. notifies internet community of collection of friends who happen to be minorities.*
non-joking accusation of racism, wonders what poster has to do to get banned. *
grilled chicken, baked potato and a salad*
posts sensual comment*
accuses poster of being the 2nd biggest board tease*
asks poster random question about barefootedness*
requests info about where to get good grilled chicken in random city*
requests info on what it's like to live in random city in case a job is procured there*
requests info on what salary one needs to have in random city.*
turns nose up at random city, insists different city is superior place to live. *
cracks beer. pulls up chair*
turns nose up at brand of chair, wonders how you can sit in that dreck.*
accuses poster of being a dandy*
makes reference to poster's development taking place south of I-80*
squeal about how you are not dandy (while secretly eating ceviche) *
Makes a comment about the average isher *
notifies internet community of poster's ownership of superior chair. mentions brand name.
turns nose up at brand of beer, wonders how you can drink that swill. *
posts picture of what i am currently drinking*
posts another picture in hopes of out beer-snobbing the OP *
ruins perfectly good beer thread by posting a pic of some girly mixed drink*
Accuses poster of not being a real man *
post squirrel gif*
posts how awesome squirrel gif is. questions its origin*
snottily informs poster that the squirrel gif has been around since the invention of the internet*
replies to long since dried up subthread*
Pop culture reference to topic*
googles reference in order to respond in such a way as to appear familiar with it*
joins in with response that purposefully includes information not found on wiki page so as to
chains together series of embedded videos from youtube*
Makes reference about having a nice rack*
makes comparison to other notably attractive public figure and remarks how
posts double entendre about having intercourse*
indicates that poster is willing to engage in sexual relations with said person*
mocks poster stating one never understood the attraction of said celebrity*
questions posters sexuality*
mocks internets losers' fantasies about women they've never met. *
makes joke about incestual relationships *
tells poster to go #### themselves and wonders why poster is obssessed *
posts (CM)*
b###hes about how this isn't really CM *
lodges complaint that there is nothing cm worthy*
describes above post as of european descent*
Disagrees this fits the definition of (cm) *
misunderstands rock's point, goes off on tangent*
*points and laughs*
for the umpteenth time, wonders outloud if ishers are using a foreign language*
Here's one likely to bring on a personal attack...
Laments on the difficulties of being an African American dude (while actually being white) *
reminds poster of faq number related to prohibition on posting unnecessary negative opinions about
locks thread. tells paying customers to #### off*
stu, i thin that is true of almost all younguns these days*
Fire Weber *
ooo (yt) -
"ignoring all the pricks around him as if he's gliding through the gnikcuf Matrix"*
Hitler. *
*random subject change* *
request for elaboration on new subject?
*posts link*
vehement disagreement! with an exclamation point! *
subject line response with no message body *
Contrarian viewpoint, questions biclops' motives or sanity. *
callback to previous argument from five years ago.
pun subthread*
TWSS in a spot where it doesn't really apply
makes attention whore statement about twss*
pun sub-thread tanked by terping*
screencap of previous argument from five years ago
re-posted where it should have been placed*
notifies poster of chuckle induced by post*
evocation of strawman *
attempt to re-frame debate*
characterizes attempt as laydown. *
One New Message!*
Purports to laugh out loud, but doesn't in reality. *
demands to know what this discussion is actually going to change *
makes ridiculous, illogical point, then claims victory*
Asks "What?" *
This is simply called, "a yoyo"*
posted in the wrong place*
makes fantastic logical point. gets ignored.*
boasts of shocking and unlikely sexual conquest
makes ham-handed allusions to such shocking and unlikely sexual conquest under mistaken
e.t. *
accusation of goalpost-moving*
condescending lecture fueled by degrading rhetorical questions*
Animated GIF *
reports to mod via EZ*
where's yoyo?*
bumps thread with meaningless, unnecessary post buried deeply within thread*

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

just had a great date with a super cute, fun, smart girl....

who also happens to be a virgin and plans to remain pure until getting married. FM penis's L

24, and is a dead ringer for hayden panitieiereieiierierieiireiee. She says she's down for other stuff, soooo................ I'm probably just going to propose the next time out :D

I've never dated a virgin before. And she said she's down for other stuff before marriage (provided I get tested for std's first). I think I'm going to date her and see how it goes. And no, she doesn't smoke weed. Maybe she's more flexible on that than the xes, tho.

Monday, June 14, 2010

I'm almost certain I know what happened, as it's happended to me...

First off, my game is tight.

It was a hot Monday morning in August and I had the biggest interview of my life with a group of mid-level executives at MY DREAM COMPANY USA. This was going to change my life.

I've always been a pretty snazzy dresser, so given the season and warm temps, I decided to wear my white linen suit...it was hott, both literally and figuratively.

Despite having returned from a long planned trip to the Mexican Riviera just the day before, my 9AM interview got off to a great start. I established an instant rapport and it was obvious that my answers were simply blowing them away (see: tight game).

Unfortunately, Montezuma chose 9:30AM to take his revenge. The excruciated pain and rumbling in my bowel came on with the speed of a Japanese high-speed train and the force of a more traditional, fossil-fuel-burning USAmerican freight train.

Needless to say, I shat myself with the force of Eyjafjallajokull. My white linen suit was now brown from the waist down with the remnants of a week’s worth of chimichangas and chile rellenos. The smell was enough to instantly induce projectile vomiting from two of the interviewers.

As any isher with tight game would do, however, I didn't even acknowledge what had happened, maintaining strict focus on the task at hand...the biggest interview of my life. Unfortunately, my game was too tight for the execs and I was asked to leave. Needless to say, I never heard from them again.

As you can see, you're not alone...it happens to the best of us, my man. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Use it as a learning experience. The next time you have an interview with so much at stake, you're obviously not going to schedule it on a Monday morning after a weeklong Mexican vacation. And if you do, you're most certainly not going to wear a white linen suite. Lesson learned.

Keep your head up and overcome. Or as I like to say...KEEP. YO. GAME. TIGHT.

If, for some statistical enigma, this is not exactly what happened to you...feel free to disregard

Friday, June 11, 2010

There us no way anybof you are as drunk as I am.

South beach WTF.

And what have I missed the pasnt few days? Folly a. Lot. Evraska WTF

I have nonifea WTF I wasaskiv here.

you have done zero lined, so WTF

Thursday, June 3, 2010