Monday, June 14, 2010

I'm almost certain I know what happened, as it's happended to me...

First off, my game is tight.

It was a hot Monday morning in August and I had the biggest interview of my life with a group of mid-level executives at MY DREAM COMPANY USA. This was going to change my life.

I've always been a pretty snazzy dresser, so given the season and warm temps, I decided to wear my white linen was hott, both literally and figuratively.

Despite having returned from a long planned trip to the Mexican Riviera just the day before, my 9AM interview got off to a great start. I established an instant rapport and it was obvious that my answers were simply blowing them away (see: tight game).

Unfortunately, Montezuma chose 9:30AM to take his revenge. The excruciated pain and rumbling in my bowel came on with the speed of a Japanese high-speed train and the force of a more traditional, fossil-fuel-burning USAmerican freight train.

Needless to say, I shat myself with the force of Eyjafjallajokull. My white linen suit was now brown from the waist down with the remnants of a week’s worth of chimichangas and chile rellenos. The smell was enough to instantly induce projectile vomiting from two of the interviewers.

As any isher with tight game would do, however, I didn't even acknowledge what had happened, maintaining strict focus on the task at hand...the biggest interview of my life. Unfortunately, my game was too tight for the execs and I was asked to leave. Needless to say, I never heard from them again.

As you can see, you're not happens to the best of us, my man. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Use it as a learning experience. The next time you have an interview with so much at stake, you're obviously not going to schedule it on a Monday morning after a weeklong Mexican vacation. And if you do, you're most certainly not going to wear a white linen suite. Lesson learned.

Keep your head up and overcome. Or as I like to say...KEEP. YO. GAME. TIGHT.

If, for some statistical enigma, this is not exactly what happened to you...feel free to disregard

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