Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I should know better

I had a monster order of Burger King's onion rings last night.

They're apparently still sitting in my gut, because right now my poor dog's eyes are watering and she's sniffing the air, just from the bombs I'm letting off in the basement.

Me and onion rings don't mix. Actually, if I lived on a desert island, they'd be fine, but around other living creatures with a sense of smell, it's just not right.


I lived it moron!!!! My life. My experiences!!!! All my Jewish friends who agree because they lived it too.

You are the ignorant one. You don't know what the fuck you are talking about.

That is one of the reasons why I left Chicago. That is the very reason I married a non-Jew!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Crazy Bat-@#$& neighbor - Story Deu (#2)

So Sunday my buddy and I were outside planting some plants. I had my radio on (Stroke 9 and Train - nothing too extreme)....we worked for about 1.5 hours, and then had a few minutes to chill before heading back to the store for hanging baskets.

Crazy tihstab neighbor comes out her front door (4pm Sunday afternoon to get her Sunday paper which I brought up from the street level for her) and tells me to turn down the radio, she's trying to take a nap . It's cold enough that all her windows and doors are shut.

The radio isn't turned up excessively, just loud enough that we can hear it working within 15 feet of it....and it's on the far side of my patio, furthest away from her....if a car goes by on the street, it drowns out the radio.

I say, no, I'm not going to turn down the radio that is by no means not being played at an unreasonable level. I suggest to her if she wants peace and quite, to move to the suburbs into a detached house with plenty of space and peace and quite.

She complains that this is a rowhome, and I should be more considerate.

I flip her the bird.

She says everyone in the neighborhood knows that I'm a terrible neighbor. (mind you, she doesn't talk with any neighbors....we have 2 yearly parties for the block...she's never attended one and numerous other gatherings like a party down the block for one of my neighbors birthday's on Saturday night...she's never gone to any of them...you never see her outside talking with the neighbors, I know personally and have been inside the homes of over 6 of our neighbors....I talk with the neighbors all the time...they all think she's crazy)

I tell her everyone know that she's a crazy b!tch, and to go away.

She continues to complain and then finally goes back into her home when I don't continue the conversation.

I relayed the story to the police officer that lives on the block....he said there is nothing she can do unless the radio was being played at an extreme level.....and definitely not on a Sunday afternoon at 4pm....he suggested to me that the next time she says something like that, to tell her to stop talking to me or I will call the cops and file a complaint that she's harassing me....and we can even have the police officer (him) that lives on the block arbitrate it.

I love people like her.....idiot.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

You're an asshole, and I'm incredibly sick of your schtick.

Your posts are the single largest reason why the deuce is no longer as enjoyable for me. It boggles my mind that your arrogance and hostility are so popular here.

You're right; that is better.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

For the love of God - STOP!

My God, you people must be, at a minimum, four or six years removed from high school. You should be emotionally grown enough to not need to pass around the virtual functional equivalent of "I love you, do you love me?" notes. Wow.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I saw a girl slap her guy a couple weeks ago

Like 4 feet away from me. It was awesome.

I'd like to date a girl who slaps me every once in a while. Not throwing lamps or anything, but a good slap in the face would be pretty cool.