Thursday, December 30, 2010

Help me win 4 (front row) tickets to Sunday’s Illinois basketball game.

Radio station contest. Giving out 9 letters over the course of several days. Unscramble the 9 letters to spell a “secret star”. I don’t know if it is one word or two, or what qualifies as a secret star.

They gave out the 8th letter today, with #9 coming tomorrow morning. The problem is that I missed 3 letters earlier this week. Here is what I have so far:

S E H L K __ __ __ __

Until they gave the K, I figured it was Lou Henson. Any guesses? I can't call in with my guess until tomorrow morning. If we figure out it, my chances are pretty good, because this is a brand new station with about 100 listeners. I might even post the phone number and answer here so we can guarantee a winner.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

So after a big dinner, my dad goes in to lie down on my bed....

I'm closing the blinds and getting him a pillow, etc. He's moving the throw pillows out of his way when I hear a loud clatter.

"Crap, I just knocked something behind the bed. What was that?"

Me: "Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll get it later."

"Well, you're never find the dang thing," he said as he's fishing between the mattress and the headboard.

"DAD! Just leave it. It's fine!"

"No, it's right here. I got it!"

He triumphantly pulls out my wife's vibrator. :facedesk

I'm laughing now. "I told you to just leave it there!"

He sets it on the nightstand. "Well, I didn't think you'd be able to find it later."

"Oh, we'd find it! Trust me!"

He's pretending like it hasn't happened. As he's getting situated I pocket the toy and split.

Then I went and told my wife as she was doing dishes. She's can't decide whether to laugh or cry.

My mom is in the kitchen, smiling and saying, "What?! What did he do? What?"

I don't know if my wife will ever be able to look my dad in the eye again!

Friday, December 24, 2010

So last night I exchanged a couple text messages with my mother in law.

And in one, I meant to type "thing" but instead typed "thong". And caught it after it had been sent.

Thank goodness she's cool.

She was all "no big deal. You can talk to me about anything."

right - I know that I *can* talk to her about anything, but I'd really rather not discuss panties...

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

i bought a cheap tux from Nordstrom Rack a few years ago

and then a suit from the regular, full-service Denver store across the street. had them sized at the full-service store.

the 60yo asian tailor, who spoke little English, kept saying to me, as he was taking my measurements " Rock star! Rock star!"

took me a few minutes to figure out he was saying "Rack store!"

Friday, December 10, 2010

question: so tonight is our work xmas party

we are doing a murder mystery...that is fairly scandelous. (it's a law firm called Lie, Cheat, and Steal. pretty much there is a lot of flings that have taken place between the characters. 2 people die. most of the characters are played by employees, we have just hired a few actors). i play Barbie-Dahl Scam, whose husband was just murdered, and my current fling (played by an actor) in the firm is supposed to hit on me the whole night. i was asked by the character coach if it would be okay if the actor smacked my ssa every now and again. appropriate? or course, this whole skit is not work appropriate. thanks goodness we sneakily got our HR director involved by giving her a scandelous part.

if it were you, would you:

1. be that character 100%, booty slaps and all

2. hold back, remembering all the ethics training you've had