I'm closing the blinds and getting him a pillow, etc. He's moving the throw pillows out of his way when I hear a loud clatter.
"Crap, I just knocked something behind the bed. What was that?"
Me: "Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll get it later."
"Well, you're never find the dang thing," he said as he's fishing between the mattress and the headboard.
"DAD! Just leave it. It's fine!"
"No, it's right here. I got it!"
He triumphantly pulls out my wife's vibrator. :facedesk
I'm laughing now. "I told you to just leave it there!"
He sets it on the nightstand. "Well, I didn't think you'd be able to find it later."
"Oh, we'd find it! Trust me!"
He's pretending like it hasn't happened. As he's getting situated I pocket the toy and split.
Then I went and told my wife as she was doing dishes. She's can't decide whether to laugh or cry.
My mom is in the kitchen, smiling and saying, "What?! What did he do? What?"
I don't know if my wife will ever be able to look my dad in the eye again!