The first time I saw a mans penis was at a ponderosa.

Some random dude just threw it at her. At the table

Hindsight

A move beyond moves

At the time I had no clue. Just heard an argument

Lady was screaming. HARD at the guy. About this and that. Once he got loud I turned to see what up. You know just in case he was getting out of hand

But oh no.

He WAs IN hand! Waving it

At

Ponderfvckingrosa

When I was a kid, there weren’t a lot of other kids that lived around me to play with

I lived on the wrong side of the tracks for that. It wasn’t really the “bad” side of the tracks; just more like the “old people with no kids” side. There was a total of 8 kids on my side of tracks, and 6 of them were in my family.
 

There were, though, a couple of kids that I was friends with who lived out on the highway. One summer, one of these buddies had a cousin stay with him for a few weeks. It was nice to have someone new to hang with and to call a friend. He was from a place that I had never heard of called Decatur. He was kind of quiet, but he liked to play baseball, and that was nice. He told us about cable television and a channel called Home Box Office where you could watch movies all the time. It all seemed a little far-fetched to me. I didn’t know it until later, but this kid’s family had all recently been killed in a house fire - his mom and dad, and his brothers and sisters. He was the only one who survived.

After his Philo vacation was over, he went back to live with relatives in Decatur. He gave me his phone number so we could keep in touch. A few times, I called him to see how he was doing.
 

My mom wasn’t happy about me having a friend in Decatur that I wanted to call on the phone. According to her, it was expensive to call there. Whenever she let me call him, she would set an egg timer out, with strict instructions not to be on the phone when the timer was up. That’s okay, though, we usually ran out of things to say before we ran out of sand.

 

Recently, I tried to do a google search of fatal Decatur house fires and his last name, but nothing came up. It would have been interesting to read about it after all these years. It could be that, even though his new home was in Decatur, that isn’t where the fire happened. I’m not sure. To this day, I can't see an egg timer without thinking of my month-long best friend Tim. 

met my old board mod at the grocery store

was buying bagels and some cheese

snuck up behind him, tapped him on his back
he jumped and yelled "holy jeez!"

told him I missed the Deuce from time to time
and all the characters and mods

he said he hadn't banned a soul in years
and for that, he thanked the gods

*piano interlude*

I told him we should go and get a drink
he said he had to get back home

I said I'd post about this on the ish
and he said "whatever, drone"

we talked about the internet
we talked about the now

tried to find important stuff to say
but neither one knew how

we talked about the internet
we talked about the memes

we both remarked how all this stupid crap
ain't as urgent as it seems

by now we both were walkin out the door
he took a left, I took a right

and as I turned to make my way back home
the Deuce faded from sight

Tough day at my son's house

He had hemorrhoids cut out yesterday at a specialist. His wife went to the hospital with diarrhea and vomiting today. He told me he hopes he doesn't get her diarrhea.

Dude

I was president of my frat, I've seen a naked women or two, and my wife already knows I don't meet her standards on that end.

Elway doesn't believe Tebow is the answer.

From the guy that bolted to Denver rather than being drafted by the Colts. The libs in Denver won't have Tebow as the QB. Consumer reports says so.

Elway will run Tebow out of town. Elway refused to be drafted by the Colts in a draft. Old horseface is doing the same thing. Tebow is winning. They cannot stand it in Denver because he is a Christian. Elway lies.

Elway acts like he is above it. He refused to go to the Colts. Read the history. "I want to play for a winner" Horseface.

Elwya is an arrogant horseface loser that had to go to a winner. Where did he come from in college. Stanford. His daddy made him change his mind from going to the Colts. Golpher face!

Consumer Reports is based in Colorado. My customer had the new issue on his table. Read it during lunch. Biggest Apple based rag, piece of garbage, one sided, gov supported, lib supported. Out of breath. Have a good night friends. Don't believe what you read.

Harry Carays

A Spanish girl served my food to me. She told my wife her food would be ready "sometime". Mrs Colt got in her face. The girl barked back. I ordered more beer for me. My wife got her food and wouldn't eat it. I ordered more beer for me. My wife cried as we went back to the hotel. I had more beer in the hotel bar. We did touchy feely in the elevator. a nice night.

Just got a call to interview at Target

what kind of company schedules its interviews to take place at Target?