Sunday, August 29, 2010

so i've got this hellish long layover now

and i'm in an airpot lounge, squirreled away at a corner desk. hardly anyone in here. been blastin' away in these fancy office chairs, thinking no one can hear me.

a few minutes ago, from out of the blue, i heard someone zip up a purse on the other side of the wall from me. didn't know there was anything there. just as i get up to ske-diddle from the scene, this business broad comes from around the corner and gives me a look that stopped the clocks.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I just injured myself in an embarrassing way.

Taking shirts from the washer to the dryer, one was twisted around itself. Instead of undoing it by hand, I figured it would be quicker and simpler to just hold it at chest height and shake it loose.

The bottom end of the wet shirt came free on the second whip-like shake and whipped me right in the stones. That's right, I basically wet-towel snapped myself. In the balls.

hurt like a MFer, luckily no scar. there was a lot of blood though. i most certainly did not enjoy it.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Adfession: I mostly don't understand fears

and tend to think that most of them are irrational, and hence am a little insensitive to people who are afraid of a lot of things. I just think they can be overcome. Mrs. mother is afraid of everything, including dogs, heights, can't swim, etc. It just gets a little ridiculous after a while. Mrs. has claustrophobia, which is the one I most don't understand. I fully admit to being prick-ish about this subject

hoardering is my worst fear in life, those shows about hoarding absolutely terrify me. The sort of fear that I am referring to is the type that affects your life and your ability to live it, such as, I can never go on a boat because I can swim and afraid to go in the water.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Do you have meat grinder and sausage stuffer attachments for your KitchenAid?

i have five fresh trout fillets to cook tonight
suck-ass rules:
1. can't cook inside on pan ( mrs nixed that idea).
2. gotta cook outside on gas grill.

I'd whip up a batch of Trout Dogs. nothing says summer like troutwurst

so, i hung out with two prostitutes tonight

went out with a girl i met at a club last weekend... and things took a pretty wild turn. i had no experience with that lifestyle, so it was kind of crazy seeing how they operate. it was really fun though... definitely a unique night. she was a hooker. the other girl works for her now. her friend was working i drove her a guys house and me and my girl waited outside while she did her thing.

they weren't like stunning... but they were both very close but i have a little bit lower standards than most here probably. i had my camera with me but never quite got the occassion to pull it out. mostly though it was just real cool getting to know them and seeing the way they went about things... i learned so much about that lifestyle just through observing

Thursday, August 12, 2010

so i don't share *too* many kid stories but this one got me all cracked up

9yr old: when we were at camp, one of the days we got to choose which station we were at. And I chose the spa station. and I was the only boy there.

me (somewhat concerned): well what did you do at the spa station?

9yr old: got to hang out with the girls at the beach!

me: *high five*

9 yr old: oh, and we put oatmeal and honey on our faces and it made our skin smooth

me: oh.