Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Trivial happiness

when you pee in the morning, and it splits into two streams, and then you remember that you had xes the night before.

when you do it and then fall asleep, whatever didn't come all the way out dries up in your pee hole area, and then when you pee it take awhile for your peestream to force the hole alls the way open, so your stream is crazy for a a few seconds.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Got slapped by an old man today

Over my tie knot (four in hand). Apparently I need to learn the windsor. Getting dressed is hard.

Question for the cat owners

When you clean the litter box, does the cat run in the room and stare at you? I feel like she's saying "Yeah, that's right you asshole.....clean my poop!"

Sunday, June 24, 2012

i've had a ####ing bat roost erected for 2 years, and not one single bat has chosen to reside

screw you, you Stevie Wonder, feathered, winged, bipedal, endothermic egg-laying, vertebrates. I've got plenty of mosquitoes, but you are hosing yourself by not living here. Good luck getting dinner. Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sundays, ####ers.

Friday, June 15, 2012

stupid move of the day

Texting Isher about Curtis orchard and whether or not they have cider donuts. Isher sends a funny reply so I decide to forward it to the wife.

I accidentally chose her work number. No one is there, so Sprint does a text to voice thing where it reads the text onto a VM. So the first person in on Monday will play this message.


Monday, June 4, 2012

I've been thinking for a while about pulling all my old childhood stories into one place

I figure they might make for an interesting addition to my future grandkid's 5th grade geneaology project. Anyway, it's mostly for my own entertainment, but, if you are interested, here is a link: