Friday, May 31, 2013

Is the wife putting on weight?

My old classmate (a softball coach) who started getting with the librarian about a year or so ago has out on probably 50 lbs. my friend is still smaller than the librarian, but man. She had gotten herself fit and into shape then blew up again.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

An unfortunate incident in the men's room

I'm sure you men can identify. While approaching the urinal, I accidentally let fly while it was cocked to one side, peeing on the leg of the guy next to me. Fortunately, he didn't seem to notice.

There was a partition, but the geometry was jusssst right. Maybe I need to draw a diagram showing angle measurements and stream velocity.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

This isn't a good sign for some that believe these are the first signals of the point of no return

with regards to our warming atmosphere.

Huge extremes with more frequent heavy precip snow and rain.

Bad planting season so far for sure.

Major Update: They start couples counseling on Monday.

1. He isn't gay.

OK I don't *actually* know that, but I really don't think it's the case. I just think they don't actually think they like eachother.

2. She got home from work around 3, he came in around 4 from all day drinking and was completely HAMMERED. He works some weekends so he'll have random days off during the week. They got in a fight, he starting telling her she'd be nothing without him, she left and met me at the bar. (ps, thanks for buying me that drink deflef!)

3. Neither of them make the other a priority. And they have no communication whatsoever. Obvs.

4. I brought up the cheating thing....and that's when she started crying.

5. I was honest with her on my thoughts and opinions. I told her that I would be here for her but this shit has to stop. She needs to set boundaries and if he crosses those, there has to be repercussions or nothing is going to change.

6. As I learned on Intervention, if there is no change, there is no change.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Not this particular situation but lame stuff keeps happening

I mean it's normal for your husband to get a text from a random # saying, I miss you, when you are staying over again? RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!


He only likes BJs. And before him she was quite promiscuous. But her previous boyfriend died of cancer so she was going through quite a bit emotionally when she met current husband.

So, who started cheating first? Before or after they got married? Has she been faithful to him? I chose not to answer. There is so much more crazy about it. I'll save it though.

I can confirm 100% she is a woman. It's not an appropriate story to tell strangers

I think that is mostly it. It's all been true. No lies


He is pissed at her and being soooo defensive with her and doesn't understand why in the WORLD she would be upset about this. And when she is out with me or other friends, he texts her like every hour to check in.


Let's say you go to bed one night before your spouse, you wake up at 5:30am and they aren't in bed

so you go to look in the living room and they aren't there either. You immediately panic and call their cell phone. They don't answer. You then continue to freak out and keep calling.  They call you at 7:30 to tell you they were just at their friends house all night.

How would that make you feel?

I realize I'm giving you all limited information here but I would be angry.

And no, he was safe and sound with me this morning.