Friday, December 29, 2006

I'm probably one of the easiest going guys you've ever met.

Crap, I even get along with my ex's b/f who was involved with her before we split up! Not to mention L.A.'s douchebag ex, POS excuse for a father.

But there is a guy who works in this firm whom I would love nothing more than to beat repeatedly with a baseball bat. This fat, lazy, arrogant prick sends me into a dark tailspin of murderous plotting every time I hear him heave a pathetic sigh of self-pity.

He easily outdistances Effin's annoying co-worker on my hate scale. In fact, he may be the only human being on the planet that I actually despise.


Thursday, December 28, 2006

anyone else feeling a lil heavy...

thanksgiving and xmas food catching up to me. i need to run more.
i have 5-7 pounds you can have...wanting to lose weight over Christmas break was probably not a realistic goal
gf calls it my seal layer of fat...she's so cute

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Dear two co-workers,

Why are you still here?!?! You obviously showed up on time. It's now almost 5:30. Go home!!!

See I showed up and hour and a half late, but I want to leave now because I have nekkid Louisville cheerleader pics I need to get home and look at. If I leave before you, then it looks like really bad form on my part.

So go home!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, December 22, 2006

Ok, so I am in the bathroom stall about 10 minutes

ago just about to finish up and all of the sudden the power goes out. So I am left sitting on the pot in total darkness. I wait a minute or so hoping that it comes back on, but it doesn't. I then have to finish up feeling like Stevie Wonder hoping that I got it all off. How do blind people know when they're done wiping?