Thursday, May 22, 2008

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Just spent the last 10 minutes in front of a class

...trying to conceal a raging renob.

cause for said renob? Prolly a combo of:

a) Six months of celebacy


b) pretty woman in class.

Viva Viagra!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Thong Sis Update

She found a wallet at the coffee shop at the hospital where she was working. Decided to take the cash out, and kept the wallet, supposedly with the intention of returning the empty wallet later. Wallet contained about $100. Anyway...FAIL.

All caught on security camera. And the wallet belonged to...the president of the hospital where she was working.

Operative phrase being "WAS working." Terminated.

Dumb girl.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Got a hemorrhoid five days earlier helping a buddy move a desk.

It popped 2 days before the test, but wouldn't stop bleeding. My wife insisted I go to the emergency room at 10 pm the night before the final because it was bleeding so freaking bad. I begged the doctor to go easy on me because I had a test the next morning. He asked questions and determined I was in law school. Then, he did his thing with the rubber glove. He left for about an hour, came back with 3 interns, told them I was going to law school so take it easy on me, to wit they all laughed uproariously and took turns sodomizing me with thier rubber gloved hands.

Finally got home at 1 am, but had an even worse pain in the ssa. I couldn't sleep, so I took a Tylenol PM at about 3 am. I slept maybe two hours, and I could only sit on one cheek because the pain was unbearable, and I was hella groggy from the Tylenol PM. That was my worst grade during 1L. Contracts was 3 days later, but the bleeding had stopped and the pain subsided.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Sunday, May 11, 2008

I'm not your monkey

And I don't dance for you when you turn your little handle.

So while I enjoyed the fact that you made that little thread for me, I will decide when posts will be about me and not you.


It is POSSIBLE that a person's luck could allow them to never lose. It is possible. the odds are not good but POSSIBLE.

It is possible that if you flip a coin 1,000,000 times it will land on heads each time. It's possible not likely.

And if you disagree, you're wrong and you don't understand odds.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

VIV and gig can stick it

I posted a sincere question. It wasn't rude or out of line. The you two A_HOLES decide to attack me for it.

What the F is wrong with you?

Worst part is that you then say it's a "douches vs. Chad" subthread.

Go f yourselves. Who do you think you are? I didn't post anything inappropriate or wrong. i wasn't contetious until you attacked me. Then you blame me. Why didn't you just leave well enough alone?

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I am remarkably unfazed by 100,000 cyclone deaths

I know I should feel bad, at least on some Obi-Wan Kenobi "great disturbance in the Force" level, but I really don't. Part of me is even relieved, given all of the concerns about overpopulation, global warming, etc. This concerns me because it totally contradicts my professed belief system.

I just don't know how to relate to people halfway across the world whose lives don't seem to intersect with mine in any meaningful way.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

I'm naturally left handed, but I cut off part of my ring finger...

at 16 months old. According to the doctors, this occured during the period of choosing hand dominancy and I had my left hand bandaged up.

Friday, May 2, 2008

I live with drunk morons

they are breeding "lil Girl (Maltese/Poodle) with a male full bred toy poodle (who is 11 years old). Everytime I try to talk...I get shouted down so I've pretty much just shut up. But we don't have space for pups (if it even happens) and I don't think she'll take care of them because she's spoiled...but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

Worst umpire ever.

Dude was on his cell phone for a whole half inning. I asked (yelled) for him to get off of his cell phone during our game. He told me to "show some respect!".

He also ate a popsicle and threw the wrapper right behind home plate. Our game was ended after 45 minutes with a score of 16-8....when I asked why it was over he responded with "Take your pick" Would not give me a real answer. When I told him that I needed to know since I was going to call and try to have him fired (over the line, I know)...he went on an f-bomb tirade.

Prom totally sucked.

What a waste of time and money. ...we had a limo-coach booked - you know, a 15-person party bus that's decked out like a limo...

The limo company showed up in 2 airport vans... that was the start of a positively underwhelming evening, topped off by my girlfriend (at the time) freaking out because people were drinking downstairs... and then no nooky took place because Aunt Flo came to town.

I got a text from my high school best friend last night

He said he's getting married May 17 in Nurnberg Germany and the Dalai Lama is attending the wedding. Making it stranger... the last I heard he was dating a stripper.