Sunday, January 31, 2010

I see live penises

I finally understand what it's like to be a man and think about sex every second of the day! After going without for 17 or so months - I've lost count, all I can think about is Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick, Dick (think Tarantino in Reservoir Dogs). I cannot look at a man without thinking about his penis (big, small, thick, thin....)I've become like the lion in the movie 'Madagascar' who looks out at all the animals and sees a bunch of steaks, except in my case I see men and think of penises! So here it is, I NEED to get laid. The problem is, I am not breaking a 17 month spell for bad sex, except I have no source of good sex. If I do the (fairly) random thing, can I lose my inhibitions enough to enjoy it with a stranger? On the other hand, I really don't have the time to get to know someone well before I implode.... Devil or the deep blue sea??? Any advice??

Real men don't wear pink unis

They looked like a bunch of ####ing pussies out there. The fact that others may agree or disagree is irrelevant to me, but that's cool if you like pussy looking uniforms. Ever stop to think why no men's teams wear pink? I don't care how many times they wore them, it was disgusting and I'm embarrassed for them. I wouldn't wear a pink uniform and i think less of any man that would. I think it's an abomination.

Wear a dress to work on Monday, then we'll talk.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

The man is the leader of the household

If a woman wants to have a huge career, don't have kids and leave the husband home.

Friday, January 8, 2010

so there are these two attractive girls who work here

yesterday, they were at lunch together in a fairly large atrium in our building and they both waved me over from afar (i should say, i know them). i chatted with them a bit and went about my business. i noticed a number of galoots oafing about, clearly envious of my situation.

there was a time. there was a time when that kind of status would've thrilled me. i don't think that's unusual (and the great maha kali knows, i rarely did anything other than squander such opportunties) and, even if it is, such an encounter would make my day. not just the attention from the ladies but a perception that i had elevated myself in the pecking order of man cubs.

anyway the point here is that i got none of that now. no charge whatsoever. mostly annoyed by the small talk (and their obviously transparent motive for telling me how good looking i am). didn't care that other dudes were giving me silent props or that i may have converted some skeptics.

i just want to get out there. i don't care anymore. i don't even care that in my post-coital moments, i feel more like a teddy bear in my wife's arms than vince vaughn's bear-who-eats-the-rabbit. it's pretty much over me.