Wednesday, December 24, 2008

On the First Day of Christmas, the IB Gave to Me....

A BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

On the 2nd day of Christmas the IB gave to me,
Two Dandytwins
and a BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

On the 3rd day of Christmas the IB gave to me,
Three Donut Slayers
Two Dandytwins
and a BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

On the 4th day of Christmas the IB gave to me,
Four CALL ME, MILFs
Three Donut Slayers
Two Dandytwins
and a BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

On the 5th day of Christmas the IB gave to me,
FIIIIVE WOOOOLF TIIIEEEEES
Four CALL ME, MILFs
Three Donut Slayers
Two Dandytwins
and a BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

On the 6th day of Christmas the IB gave to me,
Sex Jackie's Missing
FIIIIVE WOOOOLF TIIIEEEEES
Four CALL ME, MILFs
Three Donut Slayers
Two Dandytwins
and a BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

On the 7th day of Christmas the IB gave to me,
Sevens Who Think They're Nines
Sex Jackie's Missing
FIIIIVE WOOOOLF TIIIEEEEES
Four CALL ME, MILFs
Three Donut Slayers
Two Dandytwins
and a BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

On the 8th day of Christmas the IB gave to me,
Eight HOs a TRAININ
Sevens Who Think They're Nines
Sex Jackie's Missing
FIIIIVE WOOOOLF TIIIEEEEES
Four CALL ME, MILFs
Three Donut Slayers
Two Dandytwins
and a BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

On the 9th day of Christmas the IB gave to me,
Nine Gorillas Dancing
Eight HOs a TRAININ
Sevens Who Think They're Nines
Sex Jackie's Missing
FIIIIVE WOOOOLF TIIIEEEEES
Four CALL ME, MILFs
Three Donut Slayers
Two Dandytwins
and a BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

On the 10th day of Christmas the IB gave to me,
Ten Calvins Leaping
Nine Gorillas Dancing
Eight HOs a TRAININ
Sevens Who Think They're Nines
Sex Jackie's Missing
FIIIIVE WOOOOLF TIIIEEEEES
Four CALL ME, MILFs
Three Donut Slayers
Two Dandytwins
and a BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

On the 11th day of Christmas the IB gave to me,
Eleven Cages Rattling
Ten Calvins Leaping
Nine Gorillas Dancing
Eight HOs a TRAININ
Sevens Who Think They're Nines
Sex Jackie's Missing
FIIIIVE WOOOOLF TIIIEEEEES
Four CALL ME, MILFs
Three Donut Slayers
Two Dandytwins
and a BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

On the 12th day of Christmas the IB gave to me,
Twelve Illies Hiding
Eleven Cages Rattling
Ten Calvins Leaping
Nine Gorillas Dancing
Eight HOs a TRAININ
Sevens Who Think They're Nines
Sex Jackie's Missing
FIIIIVE WOOOOLF TIIIEEEEES
Four CALL ME, MILFs
Three Donut Slayers
Two Dandytwins
and a BIG BLACK MAN DOWN LOW

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Is it ghey for a dude to want to take a bath?

Because we had some unseasonbably warm weather this weekend, I decided to go out and dig some fence post holes. The ground was rock hard from lack of rain, but I was undeterred. Sometimes, a man has to do what a man has to do.

After only 45 minutes of continuous digging, I felt the first beads of sweat running between my burning pecs. My suntanned arms were warm and getting moist, and my back muscles bunched before smoothing out under my wet work shirt.

Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a reflection of my back side in the garage window. My initial thought was that my shrink to fit jeans had, indeed, shrunk just right.

But then, my mind wandered to the lovely lavender oil bath beads we have in the master bath closet. I've been meaning to try them out in a nice steamy bath. Perhaps with a glass of Shiraz, some soft music and my new loufa. It might be the perfect way to unwind after a demanding day.

So, is it ghey for a dude to want to take a bath?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

you are being a pussy

did you forget that it's your room too?

I think you should respect eachother but that little momma's boy is walking all over you. Put your foot down and stand up for yourself. If you can't stand up to this guy, good luck in the real world.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

I, for one, am quite happy my oldest daughter is heterosexual

because now we have Brooksie. I guess that makes me a bigot.

If it is ignorant to be pleased that my daughter had a child with her husband without all the baggage which seems to be potentially involved with a lesbian couple having a child (where do we get the sperm, don't know, how about your brother?), I plead guilty