It was one of those cold as fuck days and like a dumb ass I was pissing on the neighbor's fence

Just as I was finishing, she came out in her stupid ass hello kitty pajamas bitching about god fucking knows what. She scared the shit out of me and I ended up pissing all over my jeans. They were the jeans she had bought me for my birthday when we had that party where she got stinking drunk, puked all over my bed and passed out on the toilet. I looked at her and said, it's gonna be one of those days ain't it sunshine. She just laughed and hit me in the nuts with a snowball that was packed with ice. It was one of the worst days of my life and one I'll never forget. Especially when the cold wind makes my balls hurt and I moan her name...fucking shinobi...