Dear gigantic red spider in my shower this morning:

I know you and your hundreds of cousins help keep the other bugs from overrunning my apartment, and for this I thank you.

Given your toils, I apologize for foregoing the usual "upside down glass/sheet of paper" trap-and-release method, and instead splashing you down the drain. The quarters in said shower were just too cramped, and I couldn't be certain that your gross, furry legs would not touch my hand. Wherever you are, I hope you survived and are currently pwning some six-legged pest.

Cheers

P.S. Thank you for not crawling back up the drain and biting the tihs out of my feet.