in college i was running back from the convienent store

and upon trying to leap a 3 step block, i sharted something fierce. running down my leg i hobbled back to my apartment complex and proceeded to use my socks and tshirt to clean up and dumped 100 percent of my clothes in the dumpster. id rather show up naked, than poopy

Why was I running? i was returning from the store with a much needed product

yes, i spent an serious amount of time with the tshirt, polo, and socks. upon my arrival, i told her i couldnt wait and just got naked in the hall. somehow she bought it. i told her i was insecure about my condom application and had to do it in the bathroom to check for addtional smears or dingles

worst part, was squatting in the parking lot of an apartment complex furiously wiping and looking around in the a 360 degree fasion as to not be noticed by an unruly mob coming home from the bars or something

i felt like a homeless crackhead