life is sacrifice.

and if you still live like you're 20 years old but you are 34 and married, something is very wrong.

at some point you have to grow up and put away those childish things.

Typical woman. Nothing is as bad as post-partum, tho.

If you don't do what she asks, she cries.
If you do what she asks, she cries.
If you anticipate a need of hers and meet it without her even asking, she cries.

I'm not knockin you chicks, btw, I have no doubt that what you are experiencing there is very real. Man is that roller coaster tough to deal with, especially after 9 months when if we just do what you ask, it pretty much assauges most of your angst, if not all the discomfort.

So last Friday some dude I passed on the sidewalk randomly stopped me

and asked if I wanted to have coffee or lunch sometime. Yeah, yeah, I'm just *that* compelling.
But no, seriously, people do this?! Dudes, have you ever done this to a broad? Chicks, has a dude ever done this to you, and how did you respond?
I had a friendly conversation with this dude but said there was no way I was giving a stranger my contact information.

True story...

So, I get a call from my brother yesterday afternoon saying that the police had come round. About an hour before that, when he'd been working on his motorbike down the side of the house, three kids had been cussing at him ("fcuk you, you fcuking gaylord", etc) and threw sticks at him. He finally got ssiped off and tried to call the teachers over, but they pointedly looked at him and ignored him. Then a suit, who we later find out is the headteacher comes over and says that the kids are 'hyped up' after the killings in Germany, and that they think he is 'looking' at them in the playground, and that they think his tools are cameras. Quote. She refuses to listen to my brother, and even has the cheek to say that maybe he "shouldn't be outside" (in our own garden!!1!) when the kids are outside, so he gives up and goes on with his work. 30 minutes later, the police rock up and say that they have been called by the school, so they have to come. My brother explains that he's working in his back garden, and all he wanted was for these little shyts to quit with the abuse. The policeman says that he can see it's a misunderstanding, but that mybe my brother should "go inside and have a cup of tea when the kids are in the playground", before taking his name and my mother's name (she was at work, but it's her house). By this time, my mother's had the story relayed and is SOOO angry. I mean, livid, and she calls the school, wanting to speak to the head. She leaves a message with the secretary, saying it's about an incident that has just happened, and the secretary says, "oh, you mean the man who was looking at the children in the playground?" To which she grits her teeth, explains who she is and says she wants the head to call her back like yesterday. 5 hours later, no call, so after she gets home my mother stomps round to the school with my brother, to which she's met by the head (a complete jobsworth) who, basically, says that my brother should not be in the garden where the kins can see him (excuse me?? plus, the wall is only shoulder height on our side) and that "of course!" the teachers in the playground ignored him... they didn't want to put themselves "at risk", and that she felt herself "very brave" for going over to talk to him. With about 7 feet between them, a wall and a fence, she was super brave. Long story short, she was "perfectly justified" in calling the police, and that it was not the kids' fault - they were 'scared' (one of the three perpetrators lives 3 doors away, knows exactly who my brother is - everyone knows who lives at that house - and who I know for a fact keyed my car. A little bstrd, basically). To put the icing on the cake, she said she had to 'call an assembly' to 'calm the kids down' and, on the way home, my mother and brother were stopped by a little girl who lives nearby (from another school) who said, "ooh, did you hear about the man who was watching children in teh playground? The police came and everything". Now, not only does the school have these rumours going round, but all the parents will hear about it, too. Instead of disciplining the kids, they have been allowed to get away with hurling abuse and large sticks. HRH could have been hit, dammit. On top, we are made to look like criminals. Human Rights laws say that a person "has the right to enjoy their property and their possessions". This is already being breached, because we're being told that we can't go in our back garden during the day, in case the kids see us. I am so angry it's unreal, and would love for someone to tell me what my next step could/should be.

teenage boys are far more ready for sex than teenage girls.

it's a fact. boys don't get as emotionally attached and unlike girls don't use sex as a means to get attention from men.

A 30 year old guy having sex with a 14 year old girl is rape
a 30 year old woman having sex with a 14 year old boy is a public service.

One thing I've noticed

from about birth to 3 months, white babies are a lot cuter than Indian babies
from about 3 months to 24 months, Indian babies are much cuter than white babies
after about 24 months, the features start filling in and it doesn't really matter

Black babies are cuter than both.

I hope you like my picture.

It is 2 sharks and a rainbow. The one shark is wearing fancy pants and a hat for your birthday. And a belt. I love you.

I have absolutely no idea where my looks fall on the typical 1-10 scale.

Maybe no idea is going too far. I know I'm not ass ugly and I know I'm not incredibly good looking. I think I'm somewhere in the 4-8 range. Maybe about a 6? I really have no clue. Watch, I'm probably like a 2.

You're like arguing with an autistic person.

Autistic people are incapable of comprehending intent or emotion in a comment or statement, which is exactly what you are like.

This prolly isn't an avenue that you, of all people, should pursue.

But given the fact that she's a damn good-lookin' atty that's been married to me for 7 years now (and with me for 10), I'd say I must be doing something right.

when i was 4 i was prentending to be starsky and went to jump on a

garbage dumpster to avoid an imaginary car that was trying to run me down. in my mind i was going to pull myself above the car as it struck, drop on the hood, roll to the driver's window and punch the thug out. instead the dumpster fell on me. i was rushed to emergency surgery in my uncle's coupe d'ville. i apologized to him for messing up his car. and to my mom for making her cry and to my brother for getting him in trouble ("why didn't you look after your brother?"). then i wouldn't let them take off my shorts because there were women there and they'd see my vienna sausage. then they gassed me and i was in the hospital for 10 days.

so i'm lying in bed reading stories to my 6 yo last night

and she says " dad, are you here this week?"

"yes, honey, i'm teaching that class at the high school this week, remember?'

"at the high school? which class?'

"music.'

then she slowly just starts to giggle a little bit, a little more and finishes with a bit of an eye roll.

"help me out, what's up?"

"daaaaad, GIRLS teach music, not BOYS." still giggling a bit.

i took a minute to explain the differences ( of course, GIRLS teach music -- but i'm teaching music HISTORY. much more manly.)

then i slammed the little b###h's head up against her head board and put a choke hold on her until she passed out.

On the First Day of Christmas, the IB Gave to Me....

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Is it ghey for a dude to want to take a bath?

Because we had some unseasonbably warm weather this weekend, I decided to go out and dig some fence post holes. The ground was rock hard from lack of rain, but I was undeterred. Sometimes, a man has to do what a man has to do.

After only 45 minutes of continuous digging, I felt the first beads of sweat running between my burning pecs. My suntanned arms were warm and getting moist, and my back muscles bunched before smoothing out under my wet work shirt.

Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a reflection of my back side in the garage window. My initial thought was that my shrink to fit jeans had, indeed, shrunk just right.

But then, my mind wandered to the lovely lavender oil bath beads we have in the master bath closet. I've been meaning to try them out in a nice steamy bath. Perhaps with a glass of Shiraz, some soft music and my new loufa. It might be the perfect way to unwind after a demanding day.

So, is it ghey for a dude to want to take a bath?

you are being a pussy

did you forget that it's your room too?

I think you should respect eachother but that little momma's boy is walking all over you. Put your foot down and stand up for yourself. If you can't stand up to this guy, good luck in the real world.

I, for one, am quite happy my oldest daughter is heterosexual

because now we have Brooksie. I guess that makes me a bigot.

If it is ignorant to be pleased that my daughter had a child with her husband without all the baggage which seems to be potentially involved with a lesbian couple having a child (where do we get the sperm, don't know, how about your brother?), I plead guilty

I'll gladly tell you what is going on...

There are some select people on this board that feel the need to take whatever may be going on in other people's lives, good or bad, and shit all over it. There are people who have no common decency towards others because their lives are so pathetically sad and boring that they feel the need to talk down to other people and continuously mock whatever happiness others might be experiencing. People who quite frankly need to shut the #### up and mind their own business because this same shit has happened more than a few times with that same group of people. And just so you know, you can come out of your little "shelter" because unlike some people, our lives don't revolve around internet message boards. We have no reason to discuss our plans or our future on a message board, so you don't have to worry about "hiding" from it. Basically what I am getting at here is #### off!

male runners or work-outers, please advise

do you wear a jock when you exercise?

if not, how do you manage your junk?

I worked for a German woodworker in HS

He got wounded at the Russian front during WW2. He said Maggots saved his life. He walked with an artificial leg. Always went back to Germany for his leg, because they paid for it. He was a tough old Kraut. Pure Republican and loved America. He saw the effects of a country dominated by the government. No sh*t!

college kids really do not understand the proposed healthcare plans

i think it has a lot to do with the fact that college kids are pretty worthless. (the majority)

Until you've lived and worked and supported yourself in the real world, your opinion shouldn't count.