It was cold as #### and I was depressed and gassy. I ripped one off and she finally woke up and got her sorry ass out of bed. She offered to make breakfast, but I told her I'd rather have a Pabst and a Marlboro red. She started crying and got that shitty sniffly thing going that always bugged the shit of me, so I told her I was sorry and pity ####ed her. She fell asleep again until I turned on some KISS really loud and woke her up. She stormed out and I never saw her again. I still think of that b###h every time I hear Detroit Rock City...####ing shinobi..

have you ever made a silly putty stache?

everything was going great until I saw the enormous wizard sleeve.

lets just say nien nunb is her copilot

Looks like someone started butterflying a pork chop but the phone rang and it was Claire (and you know how you can never get Claire off the phone in less than 15 minutes)...the time just flew and the pork chop was all forgotten.

its like someone put a black cat in a hot pocket i had a brief moment where i wanted to head to sesame street and see if snuffy was OK

They come in all shapes and sizes. Some look like an open faced roast beef sandwich and some look like a shaved baby.

if you take her for a ride in the car and put the windows down...

her canoe has a big fat dude in a trench coat at the helm

cause when its time to hit the throws of passion


and you are either down or not....its unfortunate and most guys will suit up but it must be tough goin

and shes all


nope....sometimes you just bring a girl home and its all....predator face
just happens
you just deal

going down on her would be like taking a photograph in the 1800s