Wednesday, October 19, 2011

really to all the single people out there...

i just want to stress that you have to be careful. its so easy to lose sight of the consequences, but a one night encounter just cost me hundreds of dollars, hours of my life taking 4 tests at 3 facilities... and multiple life times worth of stress... and im very fortunate that everything was negative.

i think it was nookie who had a thread a few weeks back about 'is it worth it'... i didnt want to post on it at the time because my situation was still undetermined, but the answer is absolutely not. honestly, i feel like i crawled out my own grave today.... im leaving it alone for a longgg time.

in this situation... she kinda took it there before i had a chance. i mean, im not saying she raped me, but it wasnt really consensual.

it was like this: we met at a party... a week or two later she calls or texts me... wanting to get dinner real quick. i was cool with that.

now, this paints me in a bad light, but im going to tell it because someone out there might be in a similar situation one day and benefit from my advice. so we were at her place hanging out after. she was on the bed watching some tv show. i was like, thinking out loud and said if im going to be in the bed id be more comfortable taking my jeans off. cause i really just dont feel good having clothes on in bed. i meant that in sincerity, not game. now, she is like, actually, id prefer you naked. now, i was fine with that, but i really wasnt expecting it to go further... i wasnt going to make a move. she was touching me and stuff while watching the show, which was fine... but then she got up, and i thought she was getting off the bed, but she got on top.

and really, there was probably a second or two second window where i could have acted... but at the time i was afraid to hurt her feelings by suggesting she wasnt clean.

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