FOUND! (warning: Younger, angrier)

Her Email:
-hey! Sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. This week has been insane with work. Thanks again for a great time on Sunday night! It was really nice to finally meet you. I have to be honest. I think you are a great guy - obviously hilarious, nice, attractive (hello?! that dimple is too cute), and fun to hang out with. I just didn't feel that illusive and indefinable "spark" of chemistry. I don't want to lead you on or give you the wrong impression, so I wanted to upfront and honest with you. I am really sorry, because like I said, you are a great guy. I do wish you the best in the ol' game. If you can handle yet another friend, I am here too, but I totally understand if that's not what you are looking for right now. All the best Jane

My Response:
Jane,

Hey, sorry to hear about your hectic week, but thanks for taking the time to write the email. It was kind of really patronizing actually, but overall pretty well done. Actually, I've even cut and pasted it into a Word document to use as a template for letting future girls down easy:

Dear (insert woman's name here),
Sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. This week has been insane with work. Thanks again for a great time on (fill in night of date)! It was really nice to finally meet you. I have to be honest. I think you are a great gal - obviously hilarious, nice, attractive and fun to hang out with. I just didn't feel that elusive and indefinable "spark" of chemistry. I don't want to lead you on or give you the wrong impression, so I wanted to upfront and honest with you. I am really sorry, because like I said, you are a great girl. I do wish you the best in the ol' game. If you can handle yet another friend, I am here too, but I totally understand if that's not what you are looking for right now.
All the best

..so hey, I'm leaving this with more than I came into it with...so I see that a big win for *this guy*

BTW, feel free to add whatever my major malfunction was to your "short" list of deal breakers.

Knock 'em dead out there