Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Dear Fat Lady in front of me at the soda/pop/coke fountain,

Do you really need to hold up multiple people to wait for those 3 bubbles at the top of your Coke to dissipate before topping it off? Do you really need to do this 5 times? Does it matter that you already have 32.9 ounces crammed into your 32 ounce cup? Does it matter that your cup ended up so full that you had to delay people further by sipping some before leaving the fountain to avoid spilling? Does it concern you that your fat, clumsy ass proceeded to spill some on the floor anyway? Does it matter your cube is no more than 40 ft from this fountain and that if you do happen to run out it would take you less than 2 minutes to get a refill (assuming there is not another fat b###h like you already at the fountain upon your return)? Does it matter that you could actually use that 80 ft of exercise? Does it matter that the Coke is free?

But I tell you what, I'll forgive all of this if you simply switch your fat ass to diet pop on future visits.




Fire Ron Guenther said...

Was the machine in Detroit or Fresno?

Anonymous said...

I like steak.

Anonymous said...

If you can guess what I have in my hand right now, I'll let you have it.