When I was in first grade,

I was the only kid who didn't get a handwriting award cause I was late on my fine motor skill development. It made me work harder on my handwriting. I turned out ok.

I am concerned about my 6 y.o. son

The woman who lives with me was speaking to our 10 y.o. about a girl in his class. The 6 y.o. asked, "is that the one who always wears a choker?"



I asked, "how do you know about chokers?" He said that he just knows. This is the son who also does a very good job coordinating his clothes' colors.

I replied, "don't worry about chokers and stuff like that. If you need something to do, memorize Super Bowl trivia. Now, go get ready for soccer camp."

Interestingly, he may very well be the best athlete of the 3 older boys.

Remember that time you took a girl home one night?

Me either.

Chicago women are effin ridiculous

They all think they are so much more attractive and cooler than they actually are. It's preposterous, just because dudes flirt with you when you are out at a bar doesn't mean you are amazing. It seems like every girl in Chicago thinks she is so much more attractive than she actually is. Never seen anything like this.

Went out for a run last Monday,

and passed a single female duck that was loitering about a particular area and quacking loudly. Got to the turning point on my route and came back to the same area - the duck was still there, still quacking and generally distressed.

I stopped and tried to talk to it (not sure why), at which time I noticed that it was near a storm sewer. I leaned down by the sewer grate and heard what I believe are duckling sounds, but I couldn't see anything. I tried to pull the grate up, but it was either stuck or too heavy. I didn't know what else I could do, so I continued my run and tried to think of any city/county services that could help (and would still be in after 5). I couldn't get a live person to answer that night, so I planned to try after 9 the next morning.

The next day, I'm driving to the train and pass the same spot. Someone had run over the mother duck. I didn't hear any more "chirping" from the sewer either, so I pretty much gave up on my rescue "effort." Damn shame, and it still bums me out.

At home I generally always pee sitting down or kneeling

yes, I said kneeling (on one knee). This reduces the splash factor and less mess.

When out, I never sit down. I've been known to get constipated due to the fact I don't sit on public toilet. It's a problem I have and working on it.

The common housefly

We worry about $4 dollar gas. Get rid of the flies. They are annoying! My grandma used to swat them with her rubber flyswatter. Bugs are going to be terrible. Mrs Colt got poison ivy and something bit her on the lip, because it swelled a little bit. Deet has no effect on them.

here's a window into a 3-year-old's behavior:

Tonight, as I was sitting on the floor calmly waiting for my child to heed my instruction to lie down so I could put her diaper on, she suddenly put her face right in mine and yelled, "GET OUT OF MY FACE!"

When I was little, this is what our swimming pool looked like:

It was just an old horse tank that my dad picked up somewhere. It was nasty and had a bunch of welds on it where dad had patched rusty holes. It would get filled up once a year and we were stuck with the same nasty water, unless there was a reunion or something, and then mom would change it. She did, though, add about a gallon of Clorox once a week. Everytime I swam, my knees and feet would get all scraped up from rubbing on the bottom.





Our pool toys consisted of an old innertube



quarters, and empty bottles of dishwashing soap that we used as squirt guns.

I was a child in school.

My dad thought I should learn more math and science than the school was teaching (or at least, learn it sooner) so he would spend about 30 minutes or so every other night teaching it to me. He did the same for my 2 brothers. I graduated with a chem/physics double major and am now an attorney, my youngest brother just got his CE degree from UI and is going to law school, and my other brother is an MD.

I'm such a klutz

I was getting ready to go into Springfield to run a few errands and when I got to my car, my ankle folded under me and I fell face first into the gravel driveway. Needless to say I have a few scrapes on my face and hands...and I have an interview tomorrow. Just got out of the shower...so at least the cuts are clean.

I'm cleaning out my garage.

No less than 50 people have stopped to buy my daughters bike, her scooter, her roller skates, her sled, my old grill, my lawn mower, my snow blower etc etc etc ad infuriatum. Get. the fuck. off my driveway.

I just want to go on record that you are a truly low-life mofo.

And expect me to point that out after pretty much every post you make here.

See ya later.