Monday, September 10, 2007

i was once so drunk that i...

whizzed out of a car while it was heading south on 57.

puked on myself while driving

peed in the dishwasher and slept on the kitchen counter

threw up on myself and decided to sleep in the bathtub.

mattress slid all 27 flights in the watts

Tried to walk from Florence to Rome

chugged 15 cups of bambas hot sase

rode laps around a squad car on my bike telling him to look at the sky before hitting a sewer grate

branded myslef and 3 girls with red hot bottle caps

jumped a moving train freight train a rode it a block or two.

Stole a neighbor's door mat and used it to pretend I was Aladdin While singing "A Whole New World."

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