I get on the subway and notice as I sit down that it vaguely smells like someone farted. Specifically, like some old dude just farted. That's happened before, so I just breathe through my mouth as I read the City Paper.
Soon even the mouth breathing can't keep me from smelling it. The old dude didn't just fart, he crapped himself, I think. I notice other people putting their hands over their noses and turning around to look in the direction of the stench. I look back and see a huge loaf in the middle of the aisle, along with a bunch of poop-smeared footprints.
Apparently, someone's seeing-eye dog couldn't hold it anymore and let it go right before I got on. Everyone in that car got off at the next stop and made a beeline for other cars.
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