my favorite place to take an emergency road pmud

1. Casino / Large Hotel (full service)
you drop the car out front, no need to park, flip the keys to the valet and you’re usually less than 100 steps from a clean crapper.
you merge easily with the crowd, target is easy to find and you usually have multiple options. No bottlenecks, ever. This make Vegas the hands-down winner in "Best City to be Stuck in for an Emergency Dump?" I'll call Oscar.

2. Small Hotel
Can park in reservation area, and the johns just behind the front desk. But usually have to pass the bored front desk person who
wonders why you’re waddling. Clean options, but with the smaller hotels, it’s sometimes a single-load john with the locked door option. Never a favorite.
Best option here is Marriott Courtyard which only have three main layouts and johns are easy to find in each plan. Always teh multiple-stall option and not used much because 99% of people there go to their rooms to carp.

3. Staples, Office Depot/Max
Usually large, lots of options, clean. Easy parking options. Sometimes hard to locate and require asking-a-clerk time-wasting option.

4. Large Border’s/Barnes & Noble
Reliable, but you have to make sure you’re in a gigantic store. Bookstores tweak everyone’s Emergency Dump Valve , so the competition is sometimes fierce. The built-in coffee shops don’t help matters, folks

5. Large grocery store.
has to be a huge one, lest you wrassle the employee john in the back.

6. Newer public library
Hours are not always friendly. Newer ones are good options.

Horrible options

1. Any fast food place.
I said dump, not piss. The updated McD’s are sometimes an option because the new ones often have two stalls (and that’s not just when you do the knock and Hijack the ladies room to do the deed—and , Hell, who hasn’t done THAT a few times? )

2. The Waffle House

3. Any gas station.