Kung-Fu recap

I lost my fight to Terry. He is a 40 year old air traffic controller. I was rusty.

so i was involved in an altercation outside of..

Guidos on Sat night. Stopped at the stop light. Drunk guys hits me while I'm at dead stop. He and his friend get out and tell me its ok. Cops came.. they took off driving.

Thing is.. people say both work at Guidos. Still pondering my move. Should I be a jerk? No outside damage was done to Jeep. They hit the spare tire in back. I can make some moves.. just not sure.

Thoughts?

i'm thinking about talking to the manager/owner. lawyer buddy said I should sue them and the guy. i'm thinking... geeeeesh.. i'm just going to drop it

Kung Fu starts back up tonight!!!!!!!!!!

52 hours in London...

arrived at 12:30 pm thursday, left at 4:45 Saturday.

In that time I ate 3 meals, had at least 50 drinks and fell in love with an Aussie stripper.

And of course I was out here last night until midnight drinking whiskey.

I'm completely f*cked.

ahhhhhhh Drea...

I was done with getting dances and ready to go I thought. She was dancing on the stage right in front of our table and must have seen me watching her, because she came right off the stage and sat on my lap...

I've never seen a smaller waist on a person...

I think she ultimately coaxed about 200 quid out of my wallet...

She said if I paid her 300 pounds for an hour she would buy my drinks and that she would drink me under the table... looking back I wish I had taken her up on it.

Effin' A! Seller has had my offer for 36 hours

and hasn't accepted it yet.

Dude... i have some wiggle room... if it is such a hard decision then counter it... but do it quickly.

Current offer is 94% of listing... with 2% back to cover closing costs. I think that is pretty fair... do ya think I went too low?

id like to inform everyone that you are speaking

to the 5th best bellyflopper in the WORLD

Putting in an offer on a house tomorrow

Please send me some good karma.

Email I just sent from work to my personal email account

Subject: Rent
Date: 6/1/2007 11:06:22 AM

Pay the rent, motherf***a

Sincerely

_____

you know what....

I'm getting OLDER... and I love it. I love being proud to love 80's music. "We built this city" just came on my streaming music.... and I remember dancing and air drumming to this song in my pjs

i think my generation was one of the last ... its ok to be happy gens...

and i'm proud of it.

born in the 70's, grew up in the 80's-90's.. kickin arse in 00's!

*gorilla air guitars*

drama unfolding with one of my workers...

Had an employee of mine practically come on to me tonight...

Not sure what to do here. If I did anything with her and someone found out, I'd be gone in a heartbeat. Plus she's been with her current boyfriend for like 3 years.

But good lord, is she hot.

the official "you people were right" thread...

i couldnt stay away.

oh well.

i will be peeking in every once in awhile.

cause i cant resist, and im not done with my sandwich

in high school we were breaking into garages to borrow some beers, liquor, hell effin zima if we could find it

i popped into one of the them, open the fridge and i hear a growl

their effin DOG was kept in the garage

the only thing i could think of was jumping in thier car

so there i am, great, now what

they had the keys inside, so i used their garage opener to open the garage, drive down the street and leave it abandoned a block down cause i was afraid the dog would chase after the car

I have a felony record

One of my HS friends (unbeknownst to myself and a couple of other guys) was a pathological thief. Crazy stupid - breaking into houses of EIU students and stealing all sort of everything for several months.

He was storing the stuff in a shed out on his dad's farm property while he was trying to fence it.

So during Christmas break of my freshman year at U of I, myself and my dumb-ssa friends (including the guy mentioned above) decided it would be fun to steal a bunch of holiday decorations from people's homes and then use them to crazy-decorate the house of some girl one of my friends was dating.

About a week after this, the house breaking-in friend gets busted, comes clean to us, and asks us to help him get rid of all the junk in his shed. The most monumentally stupid decision of my life followed next. I agreed to do just that. Myself and a couple of other guys basically threw about $3000 worth of stuff off a bridge into a creek.

His eventual thank you to us was dropping dime on our little escapade as well as ratting out our Christmas decoration caper.

The DA had a hard-on for us (one of my friend's dad was the Superintendent of the school district) and basically told us to cop a plea to felony theft or she would push for jail time.

So 2 years of probation and 200 hours of community service (fire truck washing) later, I had paid my debt to society and had a felony record to show for my efforts.

Thank you. *Takes a bow*

Adfession

One night we were partying at one of our favorite spots out in the sticks southeast of town. We'd always sit on the bridge and drink and smoke.

This particular night, I brought a bunch of fireworks and we shot them all off before hauling ass before the cops tracked down the source.

The next day I found out the bridge burnt completely!

Fast forward to years later. I'm driving to a town basketball game with several guys, including a Township commissioner and the subject of that bridge came up.

I confessed to being responsible for it.

Fortunately, he laughed and said it turned out to be a good thing because it was a very old bridge and they needed to upgrade it, however it did end up costing the township over $100,000!

Also, I'm sure I drove home that night.

I have a confession.

Two years ago, I was in Effingham for a wedding. The hotel at which the wedding reception was held was across the street from a Taco Bell. As the reception was concluding, my friend and I tasked ourselves with fetching Taco Bell for a big group. However, because it was just after midnight, only the Taco Bell drive-thru was open. So we attempted to order from the drive thru. They refused to let us do so.

Thankfully, as we were about to give up and disappoint twenty very hungry drunk people back at the reception, a car with two young kids (about 20-21) pulled into the drive-thru. Offering to buy their Taco Bell, we asked if they would allow us to sit on their trunk while they went through the drive-thru and bought our food for us. (I have no idea why we didn't just get in the car or walk behind them. Probably because we were drunk) They agreed. As we started to implement our plan, however, I noticed that these young chaps had open alcohol in the car. And they were visibly drunk. This was certainly a disappointment, but I'd already given them my money and was facing a mob of T-Bell cravers back at the reception. Unfortunately, the absurd sight of two guys sitting on the back of car while it went through the Taco Bell drive-thru caught the attention of one of Effingham's finest, who had been passing by on the main road. The officer pulled into the parking lot, stopped his car, and just sat there.

When our order was ready we grabbed our food, hopped off the back of the guy's trunk, and started to walk back to the reception. Not suprisingly, as soon our new friend pulled out of the drive-thru, police lights immediate turned on.

So, in sum, because of my Taco Bell craving, I likely caused what appeared to be a twenty-year old kid to receive (1) a DUI, (2) a ticket for open alcohol, and (possibly) (3) a ticket for underaged drinking. I'd like to say that I don't feel bad because anyone drinking and driving that brazenly probably deserves to get caught. But the fact of the matter is that he almost assuredly would not have been pulled over if not for my idea that I ride on the back of his car while he went throught the drive-thru. Anyhow, the Taco Bell was well worth it.

hilarious

As you experts can probably tell - Ive never started a thread before; and during a serious sports "time period", Ive vowed never to do such a foolish thing. While there are "some" intersting things on here it basically amounts to a whole lot of crap from a lot of unemployed (or should be fired) uninformed ex-jocks (or present- wanabes). Maybe I should change my attitude, I must admit youve made me laugh; you are in fact quite ceative, and maybe someday I'll get it - but for now, since my IT guy says my computer is good, I must assume there is a bone to pick with the owner of this site - and I need to get to work before the bewitching hour of 7am arrives. (no foolish interent activity after 7)

I'm getting drug tested tomorrow at 9 AM, help me out please!

So my boss walks into our office today and says "Good news guys! You're getting paid this summer instead of working for free. We'll fill out the paper work and do the drug test tomorrow." This is a mixed bag. As some may remember, I was wondering if I was going to get drug tested when I started but then relaxed about it after I started and realized I wasn't (until now, since we get paid). I have been cautious since then, but took 2-3 hits about 5 days ago. I'm taking 3 Goldenseals tonight and downing about 4 liters of cranberry juice. Am I going to pass this thing? The last time I smoked before those 3 hits was about 2.5 weeks ago and the test is a urine sample.

it was mrs' bday today and i totally duffed it

bought her a toothbrush. mind you, it was a hella nice toothbrush, but still

wish me luck on surviving the evening.

i overestimated "my wife, the practical one" value. i thought she'd like it.

the best part is that i had to show her the web site description of it. I ordered it 10 days ago and it still hasn't come...

i'm in all sorts of trouble.

Mom should have made me apologize for this, but she didn’t.

For most of my childhood, I had a paper route. If there was a contest for best paperboy in Philo, I probably would have won because I could stuff, fold and rubberband papers really fast. Then, I’d cram them into my bike with the dual baskets on the back and take off. I was pretty quick. The only thing that slowed me down was dogs. I was afraid of dogs as a kid, and it seemed like Philo had a lot of dogs running loose.

To help with this, my mom bought me some stuff called “Mailman’s Best Friend”. If a dog got too close, I could just spray a little of this stuff in his face and he’d leave me alone. Everything would be fine; at least that’s what mom told me. The thing is, after she bought it for me, I never had to use it. Maybe just the sight of that red can bouncing around in my front basket kept the dogs away.

I couldn’t leave well enough alone though. One early Saturday morning, I was delivering a paper to Old Mrs. Brazelton’s house when her dog decided to go nuts. The good news was that the dog was inside a fence that I didn’t even have to go inside of; I just had to put the paper in a box on my side of the fence and move on. But the dog was going crazy and probably waking everybody up, so I gave him a quick squirt right in the face with “Mailman’s Best Friend”. The dog started crying and rolling around in the grass, and I went on my way, finished my route and went home.

A couple hours later, mom got a phone call from Mrs. Brazelton. Apparently, she had seen the whole thing through her window and was none too happy. She was back from the vet, where she’d had to have the dog’s eyes washed out. She informed mom that she would be expecting me to reimburse her for the vet bill, which was just short of $100. That’s where my memory ends. I don’t remember having to go down and apologize for being so stupid, and I don’t remember ever having to pay the bill. Then again, I never saw any of the money from my paper route until I was much older, so maybe mom did use my money to pay the bill. Mom handled all that part for me and, after I graduated from college, she finally gave me my money that she’d been saving for me for all those years.

Mom was normally very strict. I don't know why I didn't get severely punished for this.