I had three big beers

The owner of a small paint shop had his dad pass away yesterday. The lady who runs a local liquor store told me her daughter has been diagnosed with terminal lung disease. Ted Kennedy died. I didn't like the man, but I don't wish death on people. I stopped by the liquor store on the way home with Mrs. The owner said her daughter had some long name lung disease. She used to pull a bottle from underneath the counter and pour me a shot. We have worked out of this paint shop for many years. I just called the kid and told him I was sorry to hear about his dad. As far as Ted Kennedy, I just don't hold a grudge.

We'll just chalk it up to cultural differences

and the fact that, culturally, you suck. I don't take message boards, this one in particular, the least bit seriously. That said, I've wished you were in b###hslappin' distance on more than one occasion.

When I was little, I used to like to walk through/into clothes racks at the store.

Sometimes I'd hide, sometimes I'd just run around. One time, I accidentally knocked over a huge rack of jeans. That was the end of my clothes-rack spelunking. Once caused my hysteria-prone mother a near breakdown by hiding particularly well. Reason #57 why I won't have kids - payback is a b###h.

It occurs to me I've only been in love twice in the last 10 years

I'm 31 and have been unmarried that whole time. I guess it's at the same time great and not so great that it occurs so infrequently. Aw hell, now I'm going to have to watch The Notebook tonight.

I've been kicking around an idea for a week or so.

I think I'm gonna start an anti-TINA

it's no secret, i miss my lactating boobs.

well, the size of my lactating boobs :D
seriously. i bet there's tons of women who want bigger tatas.

You are one goddam dumbass MFer.

Do you realize that? You have to be one of the dumbest people I have ever come across in my near 34 years. Sorry for the vitriol, but if you weren't such an @sshole I wouldn't use it. Dumb is probably the wrong word. Ignorant. You are one ignorant ass MFer.

Dear Fat Lady in front of me at the soda/pop/coke fountain,

Do you really need to hold up multiple people to wait for those 3 bubbles at the top of your Coke to dissipate before topping it off? Do you really need to do this 5 times? Does it matter that you already have 32.9 ounces crammed into your 32 ounce cup? Does it matter that your cup ended up so full that you had to delay people further by sipping some before leaving the fountain to avoid spilling? Does it concern you that your fat, clumsy ass proceeded to spill some on the floor anyway? Does it matter your cube is no more than 40 ft from this fountain and that if you do happen to run out it would take you less than 2 minutes to get a refill (assuming there is not another fat b###h like you already at the fountain upon your return)? Does it matter that you could actually use that 80 ft of exercise? Does it matter that the Coke is free?

But I tell you what, I'll forgive all of this if you simply switch your fat ass to diet pop on future visits.

Sincerely,

Caffiene-starved

Whose blog is TINA?

I've never heard of it until about 15 minutes ago, when I googled it and found out I was the subject of the latest post.

I realize I have had some problem, and putting them on a message board asking for advice, is asking to get my ass lectured. That's fine. The reason I put my problems out there, is because I don't know any of you and you don't know any of me, so this is a place for unbiased advice. I didn't care if the advice was that I'm a moron, and a screw up, at least it was said to me, for my own good, in the forum that I presented it.

But I don't read this blog, Like I said, I had never heard of it until about 15 minutes ago. I'm never mentioned by name, but it's obvious the post was about me. I don't know whose blog this is, but if you would take that post down, I'd appreciate it. Because no one here knows the whole story, the extent of what has happened to me, and writing about it in a blog without knowing those things is unfair.

I'll say it again, I have no idea who I'm calling out right now, so sorry if I come across as an asshole, but I present my problems to this board because I need advice, and using my issues as a soapbox on your blog is unfair.

EDIT: I won't change anything from the original post, but I didn't get the purpose of this blog or whatever the hell it is when I wrote this. Still doesn't sit well, but that's fine disregard this and I'll get over it, I'm a big boy.

What you need more so than a lawyer is a swift kick in the ass.....

or ten. Get your sh*t together, stop f-ing around with your life. Are you already forgetting your first wake up call? You already got kicked out one school, if you continue down this path it will happen again at parkland. If that happens what are you going to do? No employer outside of manual labor or fast food is going to hire you.

If you get your act together now, get good grades at parkland, get into UofI or some other solid school then four years from now some employer is going to look at your transcripts and realize you overcame a few back decisions and overlook them. You make a pattern of bad decisions and you'll never stand a chance at getting hired.

Listen kid, I'm not trying to be a prick here, but I see you making the same mistakes I did when I was your age. My first 2 semesters at UofI I just skated by and partied so much my third semester that I had to withdraw from all of my classes. Luckily I never had to leave the Uni, but it took me the next 5 semesters to pull my gpa out of the gutter just to get to a 3.2. Because of that I missed out on some great jobs that I really wanted and made me settle for sub par jobs. It took going to grad school and getting straight A's to get the type of job I wanted at a competitive place to work.

It may seem to you now that you'll have plenty of time now to buckle down and turn your life around, but trust me, the decisions you are making now are going to take a lot longer to overcome than you may think. Sit down TODAY, and think about what you really want to do in the future and make the changes necessary to get there. Otherwise you are going to let your bad decisions dictate your future.

there is way way way too much flavored vodka sitting in my apt right now

and way way way too much alcohol that needs be consumed over the next 3 weeks...

2 fifths of tequila
1 fifth of whiskey
1 fifth of vodka
1 fifth of schnapps
1 case of bud light

I woke up in a kitchen.

That's right. A kitchen. Not mine. Needless to say, I'm home, and going back to sleep.

ZOMG, I just remembered: two years ago tonight was the last time I got boned.

My life blows

Drinking bc some guy you love plies you and then he leaves w/o even smooching you

Also = sucky

WTF kind of loser walks out on me when I'm all naked and such? Idiot.

You heard me. He took my clothes off and left.

We do this.

I'm kinda drunk and shouldn't be saying this shit.

But he's the one who got me drunk, so I kinda don't care.

I know. I look pretty good naked. At least for my genre. I'm guessing most broads my age don't look that good naked anymore. I, on the other hand, still got it.

anyone goin to the coo brew game on fri?

heading up with the wife and some folks
fil has never been to wrigley
this should lock me in as the greatest dude to ever slide his schlong spine deep in his first born

I think I'm going with the Viking ship option. it'll make a lot of people happy

see ya.

#### I'm hungover...

called a suburban cab after dinner last night at about midnight.

5-15 minutes they said. All the other dudes had gone to the Pink Monkey.

After a half hour I said screw it and took a cab to Sax Hotel (used to be House of Blues Hotel). On the way I said "Hey, do you know the way to the Pink Monkey?" He didn't... just as well... on to the hotel.

In bed at about 1. Suburban cab driver called at 1:15. Didn't answer.

It wouldn't have been so bad wearing the same clothes today if I hadn't dropped a piece of sushi down the front of my shirt.

drunk ~~~>>>~~~

and that's all i'm going to say tonight

so who has done their sister-in-law?

ok I did do my sister-in-law (my wife's sister)

Probably 25 years ago. she was coming out of a divorce and spent Christmas with us.

My wife suggested that she had a need and she (the s-i-l) agreed.

Isn't life interesting

My niece just called

Her dipsh*t husband has a girlfriend and kicked her out of the house. She has a small child. My sis in law is setting her up an apartment in a subsidized place she is manager of. Her dad promised her the money of 100 dollars for the deposit. We have had bad experiences with her.

He is in jail. That or out on bail. Whiskey drinker. I hope she gets her own place.